We're deciding LIVES here!

Today was our application deadline here at work - today IS, actually, considering there are still 3.5 hours in the day left, and surely some students are still frantically trying to submit something good (right? I can dream). The cool thing about my office is that we don't wait until the deadline to take a peek at applications like some more competitive schools; we have been reading apps since November! So it actually feels a little more like the end of the reading season for me.

Last week I was reading applications at my kitchen table, and I had my living room TV turned so that I could watch American Idol in the background while I was reviewing. And I got to thinking... when you think of an admissions counselor or a committee debating a decision, this surely is not the image that would pop into your mind. You'd probably think of people in suits sitting around a conference table, with multiple applications spread before them, all advocating for certain students, right? But here I am, in my sweatpants, 9:30 p.m. in my poorly-lit kitchen, watching American Idol, and toying with decisions that might have major life implications. (Don't be too terribly worried - I just make recommendations, I don't have the Final Word all on my own, plus my number one concern is the applicant, not the Idol.)

Really, though. It's not easy for me personally to forget that I truly may be deciding someone's life path every time I make an admissions recommendation. I know first-hand that if I hadn't been wait-listed at my all-important Top Choice university 8 years ago, I would not be sitting here writing this blog. I wouldn't have ever ended up at Etown, ergo wouldn't have been a tour guide, wouldn't have decided to get my Master's degree, wouldn't have moved to Nashville, wouldn't have been a camp counselor, wouldn't have ever ended up in Western PA, wouldn't have met my best friends and AK, etc. etc. Because I was wait-listed where I thought I wanted to go, I took a different path. Sure, I would probably still have a fulfilling life... but it would be so different.

It's scary to think that my decisions can have that kind of influence on someone else's life. If I have concerns about whether I think a student is fully prepared for the academics of the college, I really labor over my recommendation. Maybe we could require more information from them, that will show me something new that didn't come across in the application? I hate to recommend a deny.

But truthfully, I am so thankful that I was wait-listed at Top Choice U. I'm happy with my life! I don't even care that much for Top Choice U anymore and it wouldn't be on my list if I were doing my college search again. But I 100% would have gone there if I had been accepted on the first shot, and I would be a different person.

So I guess I have to remember that even the hard decisions that I make, that I am sad about and feel bad about, can be a blessing for the students.

Isn't this a crazy job?!