Subway smells like the subway

It is a universally-acknowledged truth that if you spend more than 3.8 minutes in a Subway "restaurant," you will walk out smelling worse than metro sewage. Yes, you will smell like a subway and Subway. And the thing is, you don't smell like yeasty, fresh-baked bread. Or scrumptious cookies. Or teriyaki. Or even turkey, which doesn't particularly smell fantastic either. You really smell like butt. Subway itself didn't smell like that while you were there, so it's just you. And the first time you experience this unfortunate phenomenon, you wonder if you sat in something. And you smell like it until you shower, which means all day long, you are repelling people like a bug zapper. It's like pheromones, only the exact opposite, and you can smell yourself and be repulsed by yourself. It is pungent and distinctly Subway, too. Panera has a smell afterwards, too, but not as bad and slightly different. Yesterday, Lauren said she actually hoped she would absorb the scent of the Ben & Jerry's shop and could hold that all day long (if you're wondering, it didnt' happen). Have scientists studied this? I bet it's toxic. Blechhhh.

I reek.