The winds of change, they are a-blowin'

Have you ever noticed that having serious things to think about totally zaps your creativity?  It's as if the serious stuff just moves right in and takes over every nook and cranny in my brain, not just my thoughts but sometimes also my mood and sense of the world around me.

I have had so many serious things to think about over the past couple months since I last blogged.  Big things.  Colossal, in fact. I have always struggled with writing about momentous changes in my life on this blog - my words don't seem big enough to express the weight of the decision-making involved, or the excitement of things to come.

My outlet has mostly been cooking and working out, though for a while my mind was so weary that I didn't even have it in me to do those things, which usually offer me such relief from other pressures.  So what has been happening, you ask?

When I last blogged, you heard about my hives.  Well, I spent some time fearing that my now-normal digestive distress (diagnosed last year as IBS) was related to my hives as symptoms of Celiac's disease.  I also recently noticed the return of my own personal plague, plantar's warts; just getting one is an ominous sign that the apocalypse is upon my feet, because I had such a terrible time with them in high school and college.  So I saw my doctor, a digestion specialist, and a podiatrist in that time.  I actually showed up for the podiatrist appointment thinking he was the digestion doctor - yep, that happened.  Yep, it was embarrassing.

The blood test revealed that I don't have a gluten allergy, which was both good and bad.  Good because I love bread so much and that would have been heartbreaking.  Bad because that would have at least given me a sense of direction for the hives and the stomach issues, and now I'm back to an incurable digestive disorder and mystery hives.  Now that I know it's not a gluten thing, I am back to being convinced that it's connected to my allergy shots.  I had them again three weeks ago so I skipped my shots for those weeks and I've been clear since.  Now how to get my allergist to believe me?  (P.S.  Wart-free after two treatments!  I see a pedicure in my future.)

My health issues weren't even taking up the bulk of my brain space.  Work was also, as always, taking up my life.  In college admissions, you live and die for May 1st: the college chooses its students by April 1st, and then we hold our collective breath to see if they choose us back on May 1st.  It takes a lot of work, but also a lot of sitting around and fretting.  For us, it didn't quite end on May 1 this year so there were a lot of late nights in the office that month.  I was pretty burnt-out from the academic year overall and looking at May 1 as the light at the end of my long tunnel, so having to find the extra energy was really hard on me - and all of us.

Oh, and then on top of that, I've been job-searching.  And job-deciding.  And life-deciding.

And I landed on some decisions.

Last Friday was my last day at my job, and my new job begins two days from now.  It was a very difficult decision to make.  I know that sounds cliche, but over the course of the past two years I have cried more tears over making the decision to leave than I think I ever cried about any one thing before in my life.  (My parents might contest that... I believe I was an irritable little baby.)  I weakly attempted to find a different job last year, but I just wasn't ready; my bosses were and are so supportive of me, and I wasn't done growing as a professional or making my mark here.  But this year I really wearied of not only the 5-6 hour drives across the state to see family/friends/AK, but also I just in general wearied of my work.  It's an exhausting job.  And I was completely consumed.

My new job is totally different.  While I was in talks with the new company (yes, company - not college) I really debated whether this BIG (colossal) career move was a move I wanted to make.  Because it is just that: a career move, not just a job change.  But I took comfort in something I heard one of the career counselors at the college tell a group of prospective students one time: members of the millennial generation (I'm a "cusper" technically: my birth date puts me just on the cusp of being a millennial, so let's go with it) will average seven CAREER changes in their lifetimes.  Seven careers!  Think how many jobs that could be, too.  So this move for me means I'm just starting on career number two.  I have many more to go, so what's the worry now?

And I am so excited about my new position.  It's virtual, meaning I can work from home, wherever home may be.  I feel that I am made to be at home; I am happiest at home.  My number one goal is always to "keep my head on straight" and I have a hard time doing that when I haven't had significant amounts of time just being in my own space.  And I get to work on computers all day, which I love.  I still get to talk to people, too, including people in college admissions offices.  And if I need to pick up and move in a couple years, then I can do it without changing jobs.  It truly seems like a perfect fit for what I need for me right now.

Early next month I will be moving to southeastern PA - 30 minutes from AK and 1.5 hours from my family.  It feels like the sweet spot.  And I finally have a little brain space to tell you about it.  :-)